“There we were, sitting in my bed telling each other all the drama, laughing and joking until our stomachs hurt, only to find out that all the trust from that night was all a lie. All the laughter and the pinky promises that were made crashed down. Funny how a person’s nice eyes can turn into darkness as they betray you. Their warm presence turns cold. And how the sound of their warm heart turns into thunder.”
What is a friend? Friend: a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations. Friend: a person who has a strong liking for and trust in another. Friend: someone you can trust, who stays by your side during the good times and the bad. Friend: usually those who offer you support, improve your quality of life, promote self-confidence, provide honesty and unconditional love, and help you progress mentally.
What is a REAL friend? Someone who calls you because they miss you. Someone who is there with you in the good and bad moments. Someone who accepts the way that you are. Someone who calls you, just to have some company. Someone who you haven’t seen for months and still will have a nice bond together either way. Someone who comes over to your house just to have your company around them. Someone who walks you to class just because.
Creating friends is a whole journey. It’s like a book, where you have your exposition, rising action, climax, falling action and resolution. In this case, your exposition in a friendship is introducing yourself to each other, and giving eachother your names. The rising action is getting to know each other, knowing each other’s likings, dislikes, personality and background information.
The climax can be two things, A: the adventures taken in the friendship; or B: the fights and disagreements in the bad times. Then we have the falling action where you A: look back at all of the nice and memorable memories; or B: you look back into the fights and disagreements were taken. Finally, the resolution happens, where on occasion A: you continue to make even more nice memories, and try to get to know that friend more; or on occasion B: where you take the decision of either trying to fix the friendship, or end it.
Of course the difference between a book and a friendship is that this cycle only happens once in the story or with a few characters, while in life this can happen multiple times and with different and multiple people.
Have you ever wondered if your friendship with your friend is worth it? Or if it is a nice one? If you have, you probably don’t feel comfortable in that friendship at the moment, maybe the two of you got in a fight, or there was a misunderstanding between you two, and that’s fine. What’s not fine is you acting like everything is stunning, what’s not fine is you letting that so-called “friend” manipulate and walk all over you, because the one that’s getting hurt is yourself.
The point of having a friend is having someone who makes you happy and is loyal to you. Now, that does not mean that they should only be friends with you and no one else, that’s wrong. They can have as many more friends, however they should not treat you wrong, as if you were leftover food from a meal.
A friend does not make you their second option. A friend does not come to you when they feel like it because they need something from you, or because they don’t have anyone else. This means that a friend does not ghost you then randomly text you asking for the answers for an assignment, or asking you for a big favor.
A friend does not wish for a person to do bad in life. A friend does not treat you miserably. A friend should be cheerful for you and for your achievements, they should not be jealous or feel envy of you.
Like stated before, a friend is there for you through your good and bad moments. Sometimes what builds a friendship is all of the fighting and misunderstanding. All the madness that the both of you may feel after a fight. But it’s different when your friend is disrespectful, and when they don’t want to fix their problems while you do. It’s like when they ask, “did I do something wrong?” when they definitely know what they did. In the end, there was a reason for the both of you to fight or ghost each other.
Sometimes letting a friend go is the best option. It hurts, even if you don’t admit it, we all know it hurts. But even if the both of you made some great memories and experiences, letting that bad friend go can make your life freer and happier. In the end, you should always know your worth in a friendship and do what’s best for yourself. Hang around people that make you better and who support you, not the ones that bring you down and bring negativity to your life.
It’s true that we are not perfect, but our imperfections can’t negatively affect our friends the wrong way. Your real friends will be there to help make you turn those negative things into positives, but you should not let out your anger on others and hurt them.
Hopefully this comes in handy, so that we can understand our own values, and not treat our friends the wrong way, but make them feel like they have a real friend with them, and so that we can identify a friend from a REAL friend. Remember that friends come and go, but the ones that stand up high by your side are the pots of gold.